Unwanted Help
by sheldonthewhale
Summary: Esther and Akona run into the world of Twilight Princess, and decide Link wont survive without them. Two's company but four's a mess, and the girls don't know what they've brought with them. The plot of the game is going to be rewritten. AU crack parody. Lots of cursing. General stupidity (But hey, there is a plot!)
1. Chapter 1

**NOTE: THIS FIRST CHAPTER IS FOR BACKGROUND INFORMATION ONLY, AND ISN'T SUPPOSED TO BE FUNNY.**

**If you want le funny (or the actual start of the story) go to chapter two. But if you haven't read the first fanfiction ****I HIGHLY RECOMMEND**** you read this chapter.**

**Anyways, welcome to another Esther/Akona Fanfic. In The legend of Zelda this time! Hell yeah! You don't need to have read the past Esther/Akona fic to understand this. But here's their bio-**

**Esther Quincy Faulkner- a 17 yr old half white half Filipino girl with medium length curly dark brown hair and of medium height. She'll do crazy shit with little or no motive for the fun of it, but around adults and peers she becomes quiet and respectful. Intelligent and plays the clarinet.**

**Akona (Uh-Ko-Nuh) Gillette Terling- a 17 yr old half Belgian half Native American girl with wavy brown (bordering black) hair, and is tall. Akona will easily do crazy shit alongside Esther but she's the one who draws the line most of the time. Like her friend, she quiets down at the presence of peers and adults. She likes the visual and musical arts (though she doesn't play classical instruments) **

**Both girls are incredibly smart and skilled in defending themselves. They both usually carry weapons (knives or silenced pistols) and aren't afraid of killing a rapist in self-defense (- that's just a scenario). They call each other 'bro', and have what's known as a 'Broship' (a psychic connection between two similar minds).**

**Onwards to fanfiction! **

Esther got off the yellow school bus at her best friend's stop. Her bus driver, Frank, didn't really mind that she was breaking one of the rules by doing so. He'd been driving the girls to and from school for the past five years, and it didn't take much observation to realize that they were close friends. She said 'goodbye' and he said 'have a good afternoon'. She nodded and the Greek man drove away.

Esther frowned and started up the quarter mile long driveway, adjusting her shirt that had shifted out of place. She wore a burgundy three quarter length T-shirt with khaki shorts and tan Keds. She shouldered her backpack and walked with a purpose up the hill.

It was August 25, 2015, and the first day of school was done with. However, Akona had failed to attend her first day of her last year in high school. Much to Esther's annoyance. They were in the same fourth block class, meaning they had the same lunch shift, third. Without Akona, and no other friends in that lunch shift, she was left to sit by herself for thirty minutes debating whether or not to strike up a convo with the girl who smelled like dirty underwear next to her. She didn't.

Akona did miss school pretty often when she was an underclassman, but she'd gotten better at getting the will to actually _go_. Therefore, Esther knew her friend must have a good reason for not attending today.

The driveway went up a giant ass hill, and cut through a thin section of woods. She walked between the four towering oak trees, probably thick enough to make a good sized boat out of each. They always reminded her of the four oaks in the Warriors series she had read as a child. After the trees the driveway swerved left and over a smaller hill. Once atop that hill she could see the brick building that was Akona's house.

The house was big, too big according to Akona. She described it as a 'real bitch' to clean. On more than one occasion she'd walked in on Akona throwing the Swiffer across the room in frustration. There were two cars in the driveway; one was Akona's brother's car. A green dodge something or other. Akona's car was a black and white Thunderbird. Her parents' cars weren't there, but that wasn't surprising. Her friends parents were hardly ever home.

Esther used her key to unlock the side glass door, dodging the dogs and managing to get into the kitchen safely. Cashmere, a Siamese American longhair mix, jumped down from the island counter and acted like he wasn't just searching for food in the sink. She ignored him and went over to the fridge, taking out a bottle of water, as she went to close the door a box of chocolate caught her eye…

Esther went down into the basement, the carpeted steps silencing her footsteps. She moved across the width of the rectangular room to the right wall, the large screen TV to her right showing a rerun of South Park with Mocha (Cashmere's brother) with his paw on the remote. The cat changed the channel to Nat Geo Wild, where a lion delivered a deathblow to a baby zebra. The cat looked at her and blinked lazily, to which Esther hurried into the next room quickly.

The gym was where the Bo-flex, treadmill, dumbbells, and bench-press were kept. All aligned along the far wall neatly. On the right wall was the water heater, circulator, furnace, and water pump. All mounted on the stone wall. Esther walked over to the Bo-flex and lifted one corner of the carpet under it. Underneath was a steel hatch in the cement floor. She put the water and chocolate to put in the 10 digit password and with the hissing of air the hatch opened.

Gathering up her things the senior descended down a dark stairway.

In the spring of seventh grade, Akona's parents went on one of their many business trips. This time, they were headed to Tokyo, Japan, to finalize documents allowing for the transfer of funds to their companies account, after their client had a hold of the solar generators. Or something like that…They didn't bring their business home with them, or tried not to.

Anyways, it was during that trip, which lasted three months, that Akona built an underground home open to the natural spring beneath the actual house. It was three stories, and made of the same sandy colored brick as the real house. Her brother was living with his friends while Akona was supposed to be staying at Esther's house. However Akona saw the extended trip as an opportunity to build this structure, which she called the Bro Cave.

As Esther descended she pondered over the possibility of making Akona put in a God dammed elevator. Soon though, she came to a steel door. The teenager held the water and chocolate in one hand and released the airlock with the other. Once she was through the door she took a moment to catch her breath (The door was well over seventy pounds). The room before her was a moderate sized living room that had a tan carpet with a slightly darker tan on the walls and white trim. To the right of the square space was a large TV mounted onto the wall, with a long L shaped couch parallel to it. Further back a half wall divided the living room from the step up kitchen, past which lay three bedrooms and three bathrooms.

Esther looked towards the sofa to see her best friend, Wii remote in one hand and nunchuck in the other. Her green/brown gaze turned to the screen, where Twilight Princess was being played. With a sigh, Esther sat down next to Akona.

"Where the fuck were you?!" She started, pissed.

Akona paused the game and looked around the Bro Cave. She spoke when she looked back to Esther. "Uh, here."

Esther deadpanned. "We had school today bro."

Akona resumed playing. "Uhuh, I knew that."

The half Filipino snapped, "Then why the _hell _weren't you there?!"

The taller girl shrugged. "I had something to do." She was quiet for a bit, and noticed the box of chocolates in Esther's lap. Deftly taking a white chocolate from the tray, she continued to speak while chewing. "It was a time sensitive experiment."

"How much time's left?" Esther spat out a dark chocolate that had coconut in it, making the other girl frown. Neither liked coconut…

Akona pulled up the Wii's pause screen that asked if she wanted to go back to the console's menu. There was a timer on the bottom left hand corner that had two minutes on it. Esther nodded and Akona went back to playing. Wolf Link ran through Faron woods hunting the dammed little bugs. Esther noticed this was her second time playing the game through.

"So what exactly is this experiment?" Of the two, Akona was more of the shut in sciency type while Esther was more of the outgoing badass. She knew it was Akona who drew the line and stopped her when she would go too far.

Akona didn't respond, which was unlike her. The half Filipino was starting to worry for her friend. When she did show some signs of acknowledging the question, it was to check the timer. Akona looked at the screen on her watch and tapped a few things, pulling the timer off the Wii ad onto the watch, where there was 90 sec left.

"Come on, I'll show you!" She said with a maniacal glee, frightening Esther. The taller girl did get absorbed with her work sometimes.

They trotted off past the kitchen and deeper into the Bro Cave. The dark hallway lit up as they went through it, activating motion sensors. At the end of the hall was a set of steel stairs that spiraled down. Their feet made the metal ring as they clamored down, the house disappearing above them as they entered the second level.

The stairwell opened up to a large cave with a spring off to the side, which was the whole reason why they built the hideout specifically here. The water's light danced on the walls of grey in a mesmerizing way as it flowed.

Deeper down and the stairwell became white, recessed lighting appearing on the sides of the stairs. The white pathway opened up to a small room with another steel door. This one required a pin and a scan of Akona's thumb in order for the airlock to release. Esther could have also been the one to have her thumb scanned; however she did her best to not come down here. The door opened to reveal a large laboratory made of glass, steel, and white. The half Belgian walked over to a section of the lab dedicated to technology, right up to a pair of silver belts with several wires wrapped around them in a haphazard way.

Esther kept her distance; Akona's creations were known to explode. She had her picture on her license without eyebrows to prove it. "So, what is it?"

Akona waited for the final seconds to tick away before quickly unplugging both from a blue spherical thing that was pulsing an eerie light. "This," She said, holding up one of the steam-punk belts, "Is a belt!"

Esther face-palmed. "Bro…"

"Okay okay, it's more than a belt. It _should _be able to transport us through the dimensions." Akona set it next to the other one.

"Like that water?" Esther asked, remembering the water from the future that had taken them to one of her favorite animes.

"Precisely." Akona moved to the other side of the table so she was facing Esther while talking and working. "When we came back and landed in the park I picked up the water you drank."

"But I thought it was your gun that shot us back..."

"Well the gun sped up the process. But the water was what activated the energy that took us away." The other girl shrugged.

"What energy?" Esther pulled up a stool and sat down.

Her bro pointed to the sphere. "I'm not sure, but basically it's a lot like glue. It's everywhere, holding everything together. But when it came in contact with your bloodstream, or any blood I think, it changed to this bluish color and started…melting. And things started to fall apart, making a hole in reality."

"And we fell into Black Butler…" Esther folded her arms.

"Yup. So I made these belts to hold said energy by absorbing it at a slow rate, that way it's always charged and reality doesn't get too affected by it. So I used the energy to measure spikes throughout the park, and I found one where we disappeared from. In theory, these spikes in energy would mean easy access to other dimensions. Seven of which I've found. They're like pages in a book bound but his energy-glue."

Esther blinked. "There's more?"

"Probably a lot more…"

This got Esther's attention "So, how do they work?"

"Well you use these," She pointed to arrow shaped buttons facing left and right on opposite sides of a small screen akin to a digital watch, "To choose which dimension. I only know about seven so far, so that's all we can go to."

"Hell that's enough for me!" Esther said, jumping up off her seat and grabbing a belt. "When do we go?!"

Akona took the belt back. "Bro this is all a theory, we could die attempting to actually jump dimensions." She started removing the wires. "Besides, we don't know how you might react to the trip. We don't even know your exact species now."

Esther shrugged at that. When they visited the world of Black Butler, Akona had said she was a grim reaper to bluff against a demon. However, she actually became one, to some extent. When they came back here she found trace elements of the new species still in her DNA, and retained some reaper traits.

Esther, simply joking at the time, had said she was an evolving robot unicorn. Lo and behold, that's what she became. Her blood was now rainbow colored, she was significantly stronger, and could (with some concentration) turn into the robotic unicorn. They didn't know about the evolving part though. Both girls found it odd that Akona's powers had weakened while Esther's hadn't.

But they were high school students, what could they find out about inter-dimensional travel?

"Esther, I know you wanna go but it just isn't safe." Akona reasoned.

"Safe?!" The curly haired one yelled. "Bitch since when have we been about _safe?!_"

The other one's expression softened. "Are you _sure_?" She nodded. "Suit up then."

Esther grinned with excitement and ran out of the lab, up the stairs and into the underground house. Nearing the kitchen, she took a left into her room. She saw Akona behind her, heading into the room across from her's.

When they were in the other universe, their friend that Akona had written about in fanfictions, Zaranicus, was there. He was a large black unicorn with ebony feathered wings, who had the ability to turn human and to jump between dimensions at his will. It was Sebastian, the demon Akona had bluffed against, who sent them back into their world. When Zaranicus had assured their safety by fulfilling a bargain with the demon, the dark alicorn's energy had seeped into them. Akona said she'd found no adverse side effects, but the energy gave them a new set of clothing each.

It started with a tank top, Esther's was purple and Akona's was blue. On top of that went a full length black trench coat, with multiple pockets on the inside that held their knives and small guns. They also had black cargo pants that tucked into black combat boots. On their hands went black fingerless gloves, while Esther had a pair of sunglasses and Akona had a pair of transitions lenses placed in her glasses' frames.

Esther called it the badass suit.

Once she was out of her school clothes and in the badass suit Esther walked out into the hall, her sunglasses up in her hair so she didn't look like the kind of ass who wore sunglasses inside. Akona met her in her version of the suit and they both nodded wordlessly. Turning to the stairs, they walked down into the lab and Akona handed her a belt.

Esther put it on at the same time as Akona, and looked up at her bro for any instruction.

"Alright, now we need to go to the park where we left last time." Akona said, fixing her gloves so they were snug. "That's where the energy spike is."

Esther looked at her phone for the time. "Neh, its still daylight broskie. People will see us." Akona checked the time herself.

"Dammit, we can't go out in public looking like James Bond villains." The taller girl crossed her arms in a huff.

"Well," Esther started towards the stairs, "Twilight Princess needs playing, right?"

Akona caught on and smiled. "Right, we can play till dark then head out."

Esther had taken over the Wii some time ago and was fighting her way through the water temple's boss. when Morpheel, the giant water monster, went back around the circular room. As Esther used the clawshot to once more latch onto its back and stab at the eye, Akona started waking up. She'd been catching up on her sleep lost during the timed experiment until dark.

The half Cherokee teenager rubbed her eyes and yawned, watching her friend play. Both of them had extensive experience with the Zelda series, each owning their fair share of the games.

"What time is it?!" Akona asked, stretching her taught limbs.

Esther paused the game and looked at her watch, smiling. "It's go time nigga."


	2. Chapter 2

**Again, if you haven't read the first chapter, **_**or **_**the first fanfiction in this series, this will be slightly confusing in the beginning. **

**But if you have read one or the other (and if you're a-fucking-mazing, both) then this is the start of the fanfiction. I'll keep it as light as I can, and funny.**

**Btw, both girls curse a lot, say the 'n' word, and aren't real.**

**Another thing, while I'm at it, this website is called Fanfiction. FANfiction. Which is why I don't understand why authors go around saying "I don't own this!" No SHIT you don't own it you're on fanfiction! It **_**should**_** be that if you **_**do **_** own some part of the fandom, you say so! And if you don't then you don't own it!**

***End rant***

Two girls walked through the large park that lay in the center of the city. Both dressed in tank-tops, black trench coats, black cargo shorts, black fingerless gloves, and black combat boots.

The first one was Esther, a half Filipino half ginger badass. She was slightly shorter than the other girl, Akona, and had shoulder length dark curly brown hair. Even though it was night, she wore silver-lined sunglasses.

Akona was the taller one, half Belgian and half Native American, with her wavy dark brown hair in a high ponytail. While Esther's tank-top was a dark purple hers was a dark blue. Her glasses were square and made of stainless steel, the transitions lenses clear as there was no sunlight to dim them.

Both girls wore a silver belt on their waists, looped through their pants. They walked with a purpose, a mission. Any crack-head on the side of the tan pathway they walked on wisely shuffled away, looking for some money elsewhere.

When they came to a more wooded section of the park without lamps, Esther took out a flashlight to help them see. They arrived at the largest tree in the woods; a dead squirrel lay at the base rotting. Esther frowned at the squirrel that she had thought was a dragon before their last adventure began.

Akona whipped out her phone to access the app she'd made to measure the spikes in the blue energy that held the universe together. Once she had it up, the 17 year old started wandering around the base of the tree to confirm their suspicions.

"Here," She said, stopping right in front of the squirrel. "right here is the largest spike." She turned to face Esther, standing to the left of the squirrel, pointing to the right of it and looking at her best friend.

Esther sighed and went to stand beside Akona. She looked down at the squirrel once in place, watching with disgust as a maggot swarmed out of the thing's eye.

Theodore was a lonely child. His parent's abandoned him as soon as he was born, and he had to fight to survive. All of his siblings seemed to grow up before him, flying far away to far off lands, fucking and having their own chidlins. Theodore wasn't growing up though. He'd been a good boy, eating and sleeping as much as possible, but he just couldn't seem to grow.

Resigned to depression, he decided to get a breath of fresh air to clear his thoughts. Stepping outside, he noticed it was the season of Night. This, the coldest of the four seasons (Dawn, Day, Evening, and Night), marked the end of his thirteenth year. Theo looked up in hopes of gaining solace from the sky lights that only came out in this season, only to have his beady little eyes happen upon the most mystifying thing he'd ever seen.

It was gigantic, this creature. Brown locks framed a face that gazed at him with disgust. Theo blinked and his jaw dropped in awe, this magical creature shone like the sun in his eyes, and he would be its loyal servant no matter WHAT. He would earn its trust and learn to speak its language that sounded smooth and silky, not like the harsh buzzing of his kind.

Esther watched Akona fiddle with the belt on her waist. "So what universe are we going to now?" she asked.

"Well, according to the belt, we're universe number six. Last time we went left, to universe five, so how about going to number seven?" She looked up as she finished talking.

"Sure." Esther pressed the right arrow button till the screen had a number seven on it. "Alright now what?"

Akona pointed to a greenish button off to the side. "Press this and we should be on our way."

The half Filipino looked at the button questioningly. She could die, or end up in another universe. Choosing the latter as the likely outcome, she nodded at Akona and the two pressed the button at the same time.

Nothing happened.

"What the fuck?!" Akona cursed.

"Well…" Esther said, rocking back and forth on her heels, "it was a valiant effort broskie, but I don't think we're going anywhere again…" she glanced at Akona to see her checking the screen. It said 16% on it.

"Fucker, it's loading…" The taller girl replied.

"Loading?" as she asked the question, Esther could see a slight blue haze building around them. "Oh, well shit bitch what we aint got a signal?!" Her friend didn't reply so she continued looking around to entertain herself.

Examining her feet, she saw something on her right boot. "The fuck?" She leaned closer to see it was the maggot from the dead squirrel.

Esther promptly flipped the fuck out, this girl didn't like bugs my friends.

In her attempts to get rid of the worm by screaming and hopping around, the blue haze grew thicker and the sound of lightning and thunder sounded from around them. Esther hopped, ran, kicked and screamed in circles in her fear.

No she didn't like bugs, in fact she detested them.

"GET IT THE FUCK OFF BRO! BRO! AKONAAAAAAA!" She started crying, ready to kill someone. **"GET IT OF O-"** she was cut off as a brilliant flash of light came and the girls disappeared.

He'd done it! Seeing his master fade away Theodore had crawled as fast as possible to his sole reason for living. With tears of joy he latched onto her boot and announced his presence to his master. His fears of her being unable to hear him were squashed as she looked at him in utter terror.

His tiny heart fell at the thought of her being afraid of him. Yes, he realized he wasn't too pretty, being a maggot, but he would prove his usefulness to his owner! He would make her proud!

She started to jump around and scream, and Theodore wrapped himself up in one of her laces, hanging on for dear life.

A test! He would prove to her that this underdeveloped fly was worthy! He would not fail!

A cacophony of sounds and the swirling blue lights deafened and blinded him, but he would prevail. As the light grew he shut his tiny eyes and held on with his tiny nubby feet. When darkness overtook him, his smile never left.

**Lmao, don't doubt Theodore, he'll be an important character!**

**Review? If you don't I'll dub you an ass. Sorry but reviews=fuel for writing. I know how many people read this, that's what the little graphs are for. So if you read it and don't fav, follow or review….well…*cries in corner***


	3. Chapter 3

**Hello! This is Latez, posting the second chapter of this fanfic in place of my brosk (who is currently without internet) sooo ya, enjoy the read! Oh and her real Author's Note is underneath.**

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**I'm typing this on Saturday, March 2, 2014. So, if it snows and we don't have ****school tomorrow then I'll post then. If not then I'll post like...****.Tuesday. Idk.**

**Hey well you guys'll know when you read this. Time travel via fanfiction! (Hey ****future me, work on that fucking AMV mix!)**

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Akona sifted through the murky blackness that enveloped her. She twitched as a drop of freezing rain pelted against her cheek, followed by another until it was pouring. With a startled gasp due to the cold, she opened her eyes to see she was lying on a dirt path. The sky overhead was nearly black as giant clouds billowed overhead, dumping their share of water all over the landscape.

Akona stood shakily and held her head as it pounded. So the travel still hurt like hell, but at least they were in another universe. And alive. Two major goals down, two to go. Find Esther, and find out where the fuck they were.

A groan beside her told the taller teenager that goal three was achieved. She turned to her left to see Esther sprawled out in the mud. Looking at her own attire Akona noticed that their clothing was repelling the water like a raincoat, though the shirt and pants felt like cotton.

As Esther started to stir, lighting crashed overhead. The sudden burst of light illuminated the field they stood in. The northernmost side was blocked off by a decent sized cliff, while the trail swerved left and right. Akona turned behind her to see the trail had a T shaped intersection a few feet to her right. Following the other part of the T she noticed the pelting rain hid the rest of the landscape from her view.

Esther was properly standing now, rubbing her head like Akona did before. She looked down at her boot top see that the little bug mother fucker was gone._ Thank God._ If only she could see under her pants that Theodore was working his way up her shin. If only.

Esther was the first to speak. "Any clues?!" She shouted over the thunder.

Akona shook her head and put her glasses away, they were useless in this rain. "Let's follow the trail!"

And so, the two mighty adventures went on their way to find out what universe they were in. The water repelling clothes didn't stop them from feeling the cold, but both girls (now no longer in their own universe) were no longer human. What with Akona's grim reaper bidness and Esther being part robot unicorn (A/N For a picture of the robot unicorn [cuz I'm sure you guys are like "Wtf? Robot unicorn?"]_ Google it_).

They were resting under a tree after five seconds of wandering, mainly because they were worn out by the trip to this universe, when a flash of greenish/grey came into their view for a split second before disappearing into the rain again.

"Bro, what the fuck was that?" Esther asked, genuinely curious.

"I don't know, it looked like an animal." Akona replied. She was the kindof girl who would gladly watch hours of educational programs on Animal Planet or Nat Geo Wild.

"Like what? A wolf?" Esther said, excited. Both girls thought wolves to be incredibly badass.

"Maybe, it was pretty low to the ground" Akona sighed.

It was then that another bolt of lightning flashed and illuminated a walled off structure in the distance. Both girls got an entire second to see the stonework and the massive wooden drawbridge, and both knew exactly what they saw. The wolf from earlier came to mind for the two as soon as they figured out what that massive arrangement of stone was.

"Legend of Zelda" Akona murmured.

Esther finished with, "Twilight Princess."

The two of them shot up with a renewed energy (adrenaline) and sprinted off to Castle Town. As they neared the drawbridge, Akona skedded to a stop on the slick wood and held out a hand to stop Esther.

"Wait, what if that was just some random wolf and this is Ocarina of Time?" She asked.

Esther had to admit, she had a point. Though it had been years since they had played the older Zelda game, they knew it featured a Hyrule similar to this one. Now more cautious, the two trotted across the wooden draw-bridge and slipped through the massive gates that were always open a smidge for some reason.

The town itself was quiet, due to the late hour and the rain pouring down. They passed the priest who didn't even bother to ask them for money, as he was asleep leaning against the pillar he stood by. When they entered the plaza Esther took a split second to admire the fountain and made a mental note to come back later for a picture.

They sprinted down the market area, past closed stalls and people in a hurry to get out of the rain. When Akona made a sharp right to go down the steps to Telma's bar Esther slid to a stop on the slick stone. Akona looked up at her bro from the bottom of the stairs.

"Hey Akona,_ wolf_ Link got through here. Not normal Link. How are we gunna crawl through the rafters?" She asked, saddened by the fact that she was right, they couldn't get to Zelda because of fucking Zant and Gannon. Both had wordlessly assumed that this was where they were in the game, what with the rain and wolf link sprinting into Castle Town even though it wasn't covered in Twilight.

"Shit" Akona growled under her breath, though with her heightened senses Esther could hear here. The shorter girl was right, they couldn't go anywhere.

They sat on the steps in the rain, trying to think up a solution to their problem. A quiet meow sounded from the pile of boxes next to the bar's door. Louise the cat came from around a box, and eyed the girls, who glared back.

"What?!" Esther shouted at the cat. Louise started and hissed at them.

"Who are you?!" She asked. "Why can I understand you humans?"

"Holy shit." Both girls said in unison.

"The cat_ talks_!" Esther cheered, jumping up in joy.

Akona ignored her for a moment; though she was equally surprised she hid the emotion. "Hey cat!" She shouted over the rain. "Did a wolf come by here?"

"The name is_ Lousie!_" The cat said with a huff. Apparently she was a bit of a stuck up bitch.

Esther saw where Akona was going and rolled her eyes before taking over the conversation. "Alright dammit. Louise, did a big green wolf with earrings and an imp on his back come through here?!" She went into detail to show the cat she was looking for someone familiar to them.

Louise licked a paw and ran it over an ear to compose herself. "Well I'd say he was more of a grey than green"

"How long ago?!" Akona said, standing now.

"What a rude commoner to dare question me like this!" The white cat pouted.

Akona's eye twitched and she dug through her numerous pockets, looking for something. When she came up empty, she went through Esther's pockets, startling her best friend.

Esther was known to keep odd things in her pockets, namely trinkets and little packages of food, leading Akona to think of her as a bit of a hoarder. But then again it did come in handy most of the time. Soon enough, Akona pulled out a hotel package of apricot jelly from Esther's trench coat pocket. She didn't question the oddness of it, but ripped off the top of the package and set it down in front of the cat.

Louise sniffed it and her eyes widened. Of course the jelly was drugged. This is Esther we're talking about.

"Three minutes ago." The cat said, and immediately began to feast on the jelly. The girls didn't waste any time and ran out to the west entrance of Castle Town to wait for Link and Midna.

They'd been waiting right in front of the large gates where the Goron was visible further down the path, waiting for someone to help him with spring water, for about ten minutes. The rain had let up considerably, being reduced to a medium drizzle. More people had ventured out into the streets and soldiers were patrolling in an orderly manner again. One rather brave soldier had approached them to ask what the suspicious girls were up to when Akona had waved him off, saying she was sent from the princess and whipping out her wallet, which had the Hylain royal crest on it.

Esther was about to fall asleep when a scream ripped through the air. Both alert now, they scanned the market for their target, lo and behold, wolf Link came barreling down the pathway, slipping over cobblestones with a determined look on his face. Midna was holding on for dear life, not yet fully recovered, and urging him onwards.

Esther and Akona sprinted out into the field on the other end of the shallow cave that marked the entrance to Castle Town, past the Goron and waited. Surprisingly, they were faster than Link, who scared the Goron into a corner with his presence and shot out of the cave, only to be tackled to the ground by Esther.

Midna fell off and rolled a little ways before Akona ran over to the princess and kneeled by her side. Alarmed, the imp used that odd hand of hers to try and push the half Belgian way, who dodged it and rested a calming hand on her shoulder.

"Hey calm the fuck down! We just wanna talk!" She said angrily. Midna, however, was having none of it and this time her punch hit Akona squarely in the stomach, sending her back a few feet.

When Akona looked up she saw Esther straddling Link, who was on his back, her hands holding onto his forepaws. She looked down at him, daring the wolf to challenge her, before looking up to Akona.

The taller one took that as the queue to start talking. "I'm Akona, and this is Esther." She said, gesturing to her friend, "We're here to help!" Her smile was more crazy than cheerful.

"Why would we need_ your_ help?!" Midna shouted at them, Link struggled against Esther's grip but the half magic robot was many times stronger than him.

Akona put a hand on her chin thoughtfully, "Well, actually I don't think you do." Link stopped struggling to look at Akona like she was retarded, Esther following suit. "BUT, _with_ our help, things will be a lot easier!" She pointed out, trying to save the argument.

"In other words we'd be fine without you!" She hissed. Akona didn't know she could his but there ya go.

Esther sighed. "Look, in case you haven't figured it out, we're a lot more than normal humans. And we won't stop fucking with you guys unless you let us tag along." She grinned. Link looked at her while she looked at Midna, she didn't smell human.

"I'd like to see you try!" the imp growled at the curly haired girl. Akona saw Midna reach up with one arm and the air around them started to turn black. Before they could just warp away she latched onto the princess and Esther clung tighter to Link.

* * *

Theodore was having a hard time reaching his master's face. He realized that she was a giant being the first time he saw her, but to actually climb his way up the entire length of said being was an arduous task.

When he'd awoken the maggot found himself submerged in dirty rainwater, his gasps for air only drawing in small amounts of the liquid he was submerged in. Finally, his master stood and he was able to breathe again. However, he soon found himself pelted by giant drops of water. The poor servant now had a bruise on his left side due to being hit by one of these drops.

Seeking shelter, Theodore had crawled up the inside of his master's pants. Being a maggot he knew nothing of how ungentlemanly this was, he only knew that his master's face was on her head, at the very top of her body. So, he would climb until he could see her, and beg for her to accept him as his servant.

Currently, He was making his way up her right side underneath her tank top and coat. It was warm here, so he wasn't affected by the chilling rain and wind outside. It was when his master toppled over that he lost his sense of up and down. What was once up was now left? It made no sense. He suspected that his master must have fallen. So he continued on his way, to what was once up but was now sideways.

He stopped when the world around him became dark once more, and this time he saw black squares lined with green swirling around his vision. He felt his body being detached from his consciousness.

"No master." He said, more to himself than the girl he was climbing. "I shall not succumb to your efforts to remove me from your being! I_ shall_ prove my worth and you_ shall _accept me!" He crawled onwards, a bit faster now. Poor Theodore knew not as to why he had this feeling driving him forwards, why he had to impress his master, but he knew he would not stop until she saw him for who he truly was!

* * *

**Side note: I haven't played this game in a while. So if I get any characters wrong ****or if I get their personalities wrong. Please tell me. **

**But don't be a bitch and rant about this fic's problems. **

_**Constructive**_** criticism :D **


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